22 May How to control your emotions in the moment
We are in a more than special year. We are experiencing an unprecedented pandemic. If there is something that I think that nobody can deny in these times, it is that we have all experienced, to a lesser or greater extent, what I call “an emotional roller coaster.”
The distancing has overwhelmed many of us since the most nutritious food of the soul was limited: the hug. We are living all kinds of griefs: the collapse of relationships, jobs, economies, deaths of loved ones and so much more. The uncertainty is constant. In such a context, how to control your emotions in the moment?
How to control your emotions in the moment?
As humans, we are emotional beings. Then we create our interpretations of the emotional range that we inhabit. From my point of view, the pandemic did nothing more than enhance what was always natural, but in the maelstrom of what we called “normal daily life”, we perhaps did not perceive with such intensity. Take hot stone massage for the 5 Benefits
Life is itself uncertain and it is an illusion of control that creates a false “stability” for us. So it is quite logical that in the circumstances like these, our emotions are on the surface.
Before moving on, I share some interpretations that can relieve us:
- There are no good or bad emotions;
- All emotions come to show us something that asks us to be cared for;
- If we understand that we are simply going through states that are transforming, then we will live in peace.
If these interpretations were true, I ask myself: Why are some emotions so scary? Why do we despair of seeing someone cry in distress and try to get him out of there? Why do we think that someone who laughs out loud in public is crazy? Why do we think anger and fear are inappropriate? Why do we struggle with anxiety by trying our best not to feel it?
Let’s learn to accept our feelings
“Managing our emotions” is nothing more than learning to feel them. The big difference is in what we do with what we feel and not rejecting what we are feeling. Our education is based on judgment and repression. We did not learn to be natural. Quite the opposite. They have tamed us. We have been conditioned to believe that feeling this “is right” and feeling that “is wrong.” They taught us to cancel what we feel, to fear its consequences and, therefore, to distance ourselves from our sentient essence.
It is very painful to be wanting to feel another emotion when we are feeling what we are feeling. There lies a huge percentage of our human suffering.
In this pandemic, I had to go through the mourning of the physical loss of my mother. And those who have been through a duel know that emotional states fluctuate markedly and the intensity can be even greater than in other circumstances.
So I open up to tell you that when I cry, I’m not “bad.” Quite the opposite. I am cleaning. I am draining, I am giving the necessary space to my sadness. I surrender to the flow of the water and when the relief ceases is immense.
When I get angry, “I’m not a bad person.” I am simply learning about my limits, what I want and what I no longer want in my life. The famous “this is where I came,” or this is NOT like that.
Channels to channel our energy
When we talk about properly managing emotions, we are looking for the best channels to channel that energy that we are inhabiting. In the case of anger, that energy is identified as fire. This element can burn and ignite or it can be a warm shelter. How we use that energy makes a big difference.
When I am afraid “I am not a coward.” There I am discovering that there are external or internal factors that threaten me. Many times they are not real, although the feeling is the same. Fear can be paralyzing or give us that adrenaline needed to flee or act according to the circumstances.
Every one of the emotions is worth living. They all have something to tell us, something to show us about ourselves, something to experience and self-investigate. We are human and we all feel the same emotions.
The more we open ourselves to experiencing them, the more integration there will be within us, which in turn will allow us to empathize with others, creating more humane and nurturing bonds.
Resignify our emotions
I invite you to begin to resignify our emotions. May we give them the necessary space they deserve. May we begin to be freer, more honest, more authentic. It’s more simple. It is only about letting ourselves be felt. Let us relearn to feel one hundred percent. Like children, with that simplicity and innocence. With that pristine state of thoughts and conditioning.
Cry in peace. Embrace your fear. Get angry without harming the other. Just feel the fire rise and do something creative with it. Laugh out loud and you will generate abundant endorphins and hormones that give happiness. Seek to judge less and feel more.
What are you feeling right now?
However you describe yourself … Happy or sad … Feeling anxious or angry … Fearful or confident … Discouraged or hopeful … Nervous or calm.
Whatever it is, watch. IT’S JUST. Like it or not, it’s going to happen. It will inevitably change. Drive it. Give it space. Give it your full attention and you’re done. There’s no more. That is living.
Energy is neither created nor destroyed. It just changes shape.
That is BEING HUMAN.
That is BEING ALIVE.